1 post tagged “full moon”

Beware - this post will contain cynical snarky commentary and various scatalogical references!!! Oh where to begin - you know sometimes people really need a good slap. I've noticed in the last few days as the moon swells to its monthly fullness, ordinary folk begin to go feral. Being aware of the moon's movements, I take a step back and notice the subtle changes within myself and observe the ensuing strange behaviour of those around me. For instance last night, as I was walking my dog who kindly thought to take a dump right next to a major highway, and therefore I was clearly observed as the minion picking up her majesty's art as foecal matter. I'm a very responsible dog owner in that regard and there I was ready to spring into action, bag at the ready to remove the offensive item, and some yobbo driving past yells out the following abuse "Pick that sh*t up!". I was immediately flooded with rage and I had to prevent myself from thinking dark thoughts like "Later that evening, Mr Abuser while swilling a beer and a pork pie choked on pig trotter gristle, his morbidly obese wife too large to hoist herself off the couch to effect any rescue watched as he gurgled away incoherently"....Hmmm so yes the full moon was getting to me too so I tried to channel positive thoughts....

And so this morning I was taking my dog for a walk on the beach and a lady was sitting on a rock nearby and the conversation went something like this:

Foot-in-mouth Lady: "Hello puppy, you're a strange looking dog"

Cue my dog to go up and say hello - already I am not impressed by her inferences that PJ is of a 'strange' genetic breed.

Foot-in-mouth Lady: "Ooh get away, I don't like dogs"

Me: "Well if you don't like them, don't talk to them!"

Funnily enough the non-dog liker was at the beach with her two dogs.....And so my dog started playing with her dogs and another one, and of course in the midst of that excitement PJ decided to do what she does best which was another dump which prompted this response:

Foot-in-mouth Lady: "Ooh yuck, dog poo!!"

By this stage I'm wondering if this woman is demented - does she think her dogs are cats or one of many other god's creatures, and that strange stuff that emanates from their bottom is some kind of attempt at conversation????!!!!! To which I responded drily: -

Me: "That's what they do".

Felt like flinging the dog bag in her face but I walked away wondering what it was that made people so unlikeable. Perhaps I am just a misanthrope but I cannot tolerate rudeness, ignorance, condescension, stupidity, disrespect and general meanness and pettiness. So if someone around you is going hard for the the biggest jerk award, look up to the sky and remember that maybe, just maybe, the lunar goddess is messing with their inner tidal fluids.

Stumpy

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